Revising composition 3 is going very well. I have created the website and added additional details. Now it is just a matter of making the website look appealing and entertaining. I am glad I did add new information such as the ads companies do decreasing the obesity epidemic. I also added how to read a food label properly. For composition 1, I have switched paragraphs around, added and deleted sentences, and tried to connect each paragraph to the central claim better. I need to make more of a connection and analyzes in each paragraph. I still need to make the paragraph flow better as I changed a lot for this text.
The revision process is going well. I have mostly been working on re-doing my composition 3. I need to start on the revision for the essay for composition 1. I am having trouble trying to layout the information into tabs for my website, but I think I have an idea. I will need to add more photos and videos for my website. For composition 1, I am trying to make the essay sounds more interesting. I need to connect to my claim more, at the end of each paragraph. Overall, I feel pretty well about these revisions.
I am planning on changing composition 1, my essay about achieving through special education. I am also planning on changing composition 3. I did a presentation to the class about composition 3 and I feel I could do much better than the prezi I made. I want to make a website for composition 3. I feel a website would be better to present. I will transfer the information from my prezi to the website to make it interactive. I would present better if I had an easy website to show the class, I feel I could retain the information out to the class in an effective manner. I want to work on composition 1 because I feel I became a better writer throughout the semester. I can work on each paragraph to get to the central claim. I will edit and revise the essay, to make it better than ever.
I would definitely consider revising the first and second composition. I have learned a lot since the beginning of the semester and feel that I can improve the first two compositions. I will revise the first essay I wrote on overcoming special education, and I will revise the website I made from the essay. Using all of what I learned over the course, I feel I will correctly improve my compositions.
I am only using research from the book that I read last year Salt, Sugar, Fat by Michael Moss. This book gives many examples about the food industry and secrets within many different companies. I feel that I do not need other research for my composition because Michael Moss investigated the food industry for many years, conducted interviews and went behind the lines to get the information he needs to put in his book. He does a better job presenting his research than any other news journalist or company would. This book gives plenty of research and more than enough evidence for my paper.
I am taking the information used in composition 3 and making it into an informative essay. My claim, being that the obesity epidemic is hopeless and endless is a good argument to start off my essay. I will then use information from my presentation such as content from salt, sugar, and fat to incorporate into my essay within the body paragraphs. I will give information about the epidemic, not useless info. I will use information that will make an impact or influence. I will talk about the producer vs consumer and what is wrong between each. I will then end the essay with steps, not solutions to change the epidemic. You cannot fix the epidemic, you can only change it. I am taking my presentation and broadening it in my essay, while adding specifics and examples.
My argument for Composition 4 is that the food industry cannot fix the food epidemic, that it is hopeless. All you can do is be more aware of the issue and have knowledge of it. You can only take small steps to change or hinder the epidemic, but you cannot fix it. My audience is all individuals, because everyone eats food and everyone is effected by this epidemic. This is different from composition 3, because in composition 3 I stated facts to scare the individual. In composition 4, I am not trying to scare the individual but to say that this epidemic is hopeless, and why it is hopeless, what the causes and effects are. I will not be giving a solution to fix it, because that is impossible.
I had to revise the prezi a little bit in composition 3. I had to move the slides around to make my presentation flow. I made the speech integrated with the prezi. I will explain each topic and have evidence such as a video or photo on my prezi. I also made an outline for my speech. I have main bullet points to speak about that goes along with each topic. Overall, I will be presenting a lot of information, but I do not want to make it too long.
The biggest concern with my composition is using prezi. I know many people do not like looking at prezi’s and our class is not really supposed to use them. I want my composition to be me talking and speaking to the class about the food epidemic. I want the prezi only to be for videos and photos. I want to lecture and scare the class about this issue. The main focus will be on me and not the powerpoint. I am not frustrated or stressed, I just want to make this presentation very interesting and interactive. I want to get the information out there, without sugar-coating anything.